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T O P I C R E V I E WRandallAnd it goes without saying that men and women lie for different reasons usually. Does one gender tell more white lies?Padre35Men, we bend over backwards to avoid stuff.Modern dudes have a real problem just being point blank honest with people.somethingexcellentI don't think it can really be said...it's like asking who cooks more. Some do a lot, some don't at all, some do on bad days, and this goes for all genders.Kerosenestatistically men because men will tell hundred white lies to avoid being nagged by their girlfriends or mothers. aquaguy91I would say men lie to women more (meaning they tell women what they want to hear) and women lie more in the sense that they withold information, but I don't know if you can really call it lying. What's interesting to me is how most people say they want the truth but get very angry when you give it to them straight up. Basically people want to hear what they want to hear and that's what they usually get. Strange world we live in...KeroseneI don't mind lying to avoid ridiculous situations. I use to lie to my parents all the time.Padre35 quote:Originally posted by aquaguy91:I would say men lie to women more (meaning they tell women what they want to hear) and women lie more in the sense that they withold information, but I don't know if you can really call it lying. What's interesting to me is how most people say they want the truth but get very angry when you give it to them straight up. Basically people want to hear what they want to hear and that's what they usually get. Strange world we live in...B/c little one there is a way to tell the truth with a smile and way to do so with a meanness. People are very passive aggressive, there is no other way to say it. FWIW, IMO women rarely lie b/c they rarely are asked direct questions.OdetteI really don't know the answer to that. It might be the same.But I am thinking maybe women would tell more white lies since women are generally more communicative.With minor daily things like cancelling lunch with friends or what not - a man wouldn't bother explaining himself much - whereas a woman would. Also women ask other women very personal things about their lives and some might lie to keep their privacy.When men interact socially they talk more about politics, sports.. things that are not so personal.But it just depends on the context and the types of lies/reasons behind lying... They might just end up even!OdetteWomen are not asked direct questions?Other women are extremely nosy!Padre35 quote:Originally posted by Odette:Women are not asked direct questions?Other women are extremely nosy!Oh sure, my context was male and female conversations. Avg man won't ask probing questions, they are to scared to ask usually.Women can be really uhmm...curious... From that though, it is one of the reasons why women can hate each other so much, they know stuff about each other and if it is spilled..watch the hell out le merde will hit le ventillator.KeroseneYeah everyone tells general white lies.Well I think in relationships women want complete openness "babe, I really want us to be honest with each other"For example I've seen a guy hover his phone over an open sink and claim he is taking a shower while actually at a party with his friends.. or whatever. I assume that was his girlfriend.I have to say I've done things like that in the past.jellyfishtryI think depends on the person, more than their gender, right?As for who is a 'better' liar, I think men. They are less emotional, or have been taught to hide or suppress their emotions since young (most at least)...so when it comes to lying with a straight face....no problems!...woman who grew up the same way (in an environment that suppresses their expression of what is going on with them, and so not dealing with it)are also good liars.mockingbirdFor what studies based upon self reports are worth: http://curiosity.discovery.com/question/men-or-women-lie-more Unless they're lying about lying.------------------If I've included this sig, it's because I'm posting from a mobile device. Please excuse all outrageous typos and confusing auto-corrects.RandallInteresting study! I think both probably lie about equally as much. RandallWomens' lies are usually more honorable.KeroseneWomen usually lie to protect, men lie to avoid in the best case scenarios.Odette quote:As for who is a 'better' liar, I think men. They are less emotionalAnyone with Pisces in their chart is the better liar And it's because they are emotional.The less emotional understanding one has of themselves and others - the worse they are as liars (and as actors for that matter). crabbypattyMy gosh, women lie just as much as men, in my experience.Jessica2407 quote:Originally posted by Randall:Womens' lies are usually more honorable.lolI don't know. I just thought of this little story that went around here and I smiled when I saw your post so I really want to share it There is this young married woman who was entertaining an extra marital affair,so she used to sneak out of the house at odd times to meet her lover. One day when she returned home,she found her hubby already at home,he came early from work it seemed that day,and since she had a new freshly placed hicky on her neck which she couldn't hide (being taken by surprise,I guess)she lied to her hubby...wait for it....that 3 guys kidnapped her and raped her on the side of the road..I mean would you believe that a rapist could give a woman a hicky? IDK!!anyways, the hubby believed her because she was in tears and she looked so adorable in tears I guess..so they filed a complaint at the police station and that's when things started to get ugly because the cops ( thank god there are guys who don't fall for crying females!) didn't believe one word..long story short, she was arrested for false accusations, because yeah she accused her neighbors!!PixieJane^^Sounds unlikely at best (and ironically it's a lie I'd expect a man to come up with). The only way I'd be inclined to believe it is if there were people I personally knew involved rather than "friend of a friend."It's not the false accusation, by the way, it's the reactions. If it happened as you described then procedures were messed up really bad on multiple levels. Granted, it's still plausible because cops are known to sometimes violate procedure, and I find encountering the legal system a real crap shoot that doesn't always operate by its own rules, so I'm not going to say it's impossible (though I find it more plausible that a rape victim got a hickey from her attacker). But I find it much more likely just the stuff people invent to entertain, amuse, and spread morality tales among themselves (that is, the stuff urban legends are made of). That said, I do think women can be very vindictive in their lies as well...but not in the same exact way as a man (and also much more likely to target other women than men). crabbypatty I believe that women and men are neck and neck in lying, and maybe some women even surpass men in lies, white or otherwise. I think that perhaps men take certain truths better, whereas many women would get bent out of shape over the same truths. Other women know this, so they create lies to avoid bad situations.Case in point: there is a child in school with whom my son used to have frequent playdates when they were both six and seven years old. Suddenly, last year, the mother started giving me all kinds of excuses when I called asking for a playdate; her son was sick, he had to go help his father move offices, he had a birthday party, he was sick again... every excuse in the book. It was only later that I put two and two together... my child came home from school one day and reported that his (former) friend was taunting him at lunchtime for not eating kosher food like most of the boys at the table. Then I understood that the mother had probably heard about the lunchtime fare and decided this was not the kind of child her boy should associate with. Fair enough. But she didn't want to just be honest with me and tell me she objected to the g-dless way we are raising our son... she just told white lies. And I have done the same: we had another boy over to our home twice for a playdate and I observed him to be quite strange in his overall demeanor. And I mean strange, like you don't want to be associated with him in public. At one point, he also almost physically injured my son doing something really dumb. So, anyway, I didn't have the guts to tell his mother (who happens to be a lovely lady) that my child commented, after two playdates, "I never want to play with Adam again". She continued to call asking for the boys to get together, and I, in chicken-sh*t fashion, made up every excuse in the book why my son couldn't play. I have wrestled with the idea of talking to her about her son's behavior, but I am so afraid she won't take it well. This is based on prior instances in my life where I've been brave, told the whole truth about something, and just been demolished by the other person.That's why when my one co-worker asks my other co-worker what she thinks of her new shoes, the second one says "oh... verrrrry nice!!!" And then texts me ten seconds later, "can you believe anyone would wear those?" There are so many situations in which to tell the truth would just destroy another person's sense of pride, or accomplishment, or just hurt their feelings. And there are people, like my mother, who you know would go on for hours and days about topic "x", so you lie like a rug just to avoid telling her that one detail that will launch her into topic "x". I think men and women both recognize this and are self-protective and protective of others. That's why we live our lives from one white lie to the next. Some of us, at least -- I know there is more than one Knowflake who has already said that lying of any sort is anathema to them. Hats off to you, guys. RandallCould be. quote:Originally posted by crabbypatty: I believe that women and men are neck and neck in lying, and maybe some women even surpass men in lies, white or otherwise. I think that perhaps men take certain truths better, whereas many women would get bent out of shape over the same truths. Other women know this, so they create lies to avoid bad situations.Case in point: there is a child in school with whom my son used to have frequent playdates when they were both six and seven years old. Suddenly, last year, the mother started giving me all kinds of excuses when I called asking for a playdate; her son was sick, he had to go help his father move offices, he had a birthday party, he was sick again... every excuse in the book. It was only later that I put two and two together... my child came home from school one day and reported that his (former) friend was taunting him at lunchtime for not eating kosher food like most of the boys at the table. Then I understood that the mother had probably heard about the lunchtime fare and decided this was not the kind of child her boy should associate with. Fair enough. But she didn't want to just be honest with me and tell me she objected to the g-dless way we are raising our son... she just told white lies. And I have done the same: we had another boy over to our home twice for a playdate and I observed him to be quite strange in his overall demeanor. And I mean strange, like you don't want to be associated with him in public. At one point, he also almost physically injured my son doing something really dumb. So, anyway, I didn't have the guts to tell his mother (who happens to be a lovely lady) that my child commented, after two playdates, "I never want to play with Adam again". She continued to call asking for the boys to get together, and I, in chicken-sh*t fashion, made up every excuse in the book why my son couldn't play. I have wrestled with the idea of talking to her about her son's behavior, but I am so afraid she won't take it well. This is based on prior instances in my life where I've been brave, told the whole truth about something, and just been demolished by the other person.That's why when my one co-worker asks my other co-worker what she thinks of her new shoes, the second one says "oh... verrrrry nice!!!" And then texts me ten seconds later, "can you believe anyone would wear those?" There are so many situations in which to tell the truth would just destroy another person's sense of pride, or accomplishment, or just hurt their feelings. And there are people, like my mother, who you know would go on for hours and days about topic "x", so you lie like a rug just to avoid telling her that one detail that will launch her into topic "x". I think men and women both recognize this and are self-protective and protective of others. That's why we live our lives from one white lie to the next. Some of us, at least -- I know there is more than one Knowflake who has already said that lying of any sort is anathema to them. Hats off to you, guys.
Modern dudes have a real problem just being point blank honest with people.
quote:Originally posted by aquaguy91:I would say men lie to women more (meaning they tell women what they want to hear) and women lie more in the sense that they withold information, but I don't know if you can really call it lying. What's interesting to me is how most people say they want the truth but get very angry when you give it to them straight up. Basically people want to hear what they want to hear and that's what they usually get. Strange world we live in...
B/c little one there is a way to tell the truth with a smile and way to do so with a meanness.
People are very passive aggressive, there is no other way to say it.
FWIW, IMO women rarely lie b/c they rarely are asked direct questions.
Also women ask other women very personal things about their lives and some might lie to keep their privacy.When men interact socially they talk more about politics, sports.. things that are not so personal.
But it just depends on the context and the types of lies/reasons behind lying... They might just end up even!
quote:Originally posted by Odette:Women are not asked direct questions?Other women are extremely nosy!
Oh sure, my context was male and female conversations. Avg man won't ask probing questions, they are to scared to ask usually.
Women can be really uhmm...curious...
From that though, it is one of the reasons why women can hate each other so much, they know stuff about each other and if it is spilled..watch the hell out le merde will hit le ventillator.
"babe, I really want us to be honest with each other"
For example I've seen a guy hover his phone over an open sink and claim he is taking a shower while actually at a party with his friends.. or whatever. I assume that was his girlfriend.
I have to say I've done things like that in the past.
As for who is a 'better' liar, I think men. They are less emotional, or have been taught to hide or suppress their emotions since young (most at least)...so when it comes to lying with a straight face....no problems!...woman who grew up the same way (in an environment that suppresses their expression of what is going on with them, and so not dealing with it)
are also good liars.
Unless they're lying about lying.
------------------If I've included this sig, it's because I'm posting from a mobile device. Please excuse all outrageous typos and confusing auto-corrects.
quote:As for who is a 'better' liar, I think men. They are less emotional
Anyone with Pisces in their chart is the better liar And it's because they are emotional.
The less emotional understanding one has of themselves and others - the worse they are as liars (and as actors for that matter).
quote:Originally posted by Randall:Womens' lies are usually more honorable.
lol
I don't know. I just thought of this little story that went around here and I smiled when I saw your post so I really want to share it
There is this young married woman who was entertaining an extra marital affair,so she used to sneak out of the house at odd times to meet her lover. One day when she returned home,she found her hubby already at home,he came early from work it seemed that day,and since she had a new freshly placed hicky on her neck which she couldn't hide (being taken by surprise,I guess)she lied to her hubby...wait for it....that 3 guys kidnapped her and raped her on the side of the road..I mean would you believe that a rapist could give a woman a hicky? IDK!!
anyways, the hubby believed her because she was in tears and she looked so adorable in tears I guess..so they filed a complaint at the police station and that's when things started to get ugly because the cops ( thank god there are guys who don't fall for crying females!) didn't believe one word..long story short, she was arrested for false accusations, because yeah she accused her neighbors!!
Sounds unlikely at best (and ironically it's a lie I'd expect a man to come up with). The only way I'd be inclined to believe it is if there were people I personally knew involved rather than "friend of a friend."
It's not the false accusation, by the way, it's the reactions. If it happened as you described then procedures were messed up really bad on multiple levels. Granted, it's still plausible because cops are known to sometimes violate procedure, and I find encountering the legal system a real crap shoot that doesn't always operate by its own rules, so I'm not going to say it's impossible (though I find it more plausible that a rape victim got a hickey from her attacker). But I find it much more likely just the stuff people invent to entertain, amuse, and spread morality tales among themselves (that is, the stuff urban legends are made of).
That said, I do think women can be very vindictive in their lies as well...but not in the same exact way as a man (and also much more likely to target other women than men).
Case in point: there is a child in school with whom my son used to have frequent playdates when they were both six and seven years old. Suddenly, last year, the mother started giving me all kinds of excuses when I called asking for a playdate; her son was sick, he had to go help his father move offices, he had a birthday party, he was sick again... every excuse in the book. It was only later that I put two and two together... my child came home from school one day and reported that his (former) friend was taunting him at lunchtime for not eating kosher food like most of the boys at the table. Then I understood that the mother had probably heard about the lunchtime fare and decided this was not the kind of child her boy should associate with. Fair enough. But she didn't want to just be honest with me and tell me she objected to the g-dless way we are raising our son... she just told white lies.
And I have done the same: we had another boy over to our home twice for a playdate and I observed him to be quite strange in his overall demeanor. And I mean strange, like you don't want to be associated with him in public. At one point, he also almost physically injured my son doing something really dumb. So, anyway, I didn't have the guts to tell his mother (who happens to be a lovely lady) that my child commented, after two playdates, "I never want to play with Adam again". She continued to call asking for the boys to get together, and I, in chicken-sh*t fashion, made up every excuse in the book why my son couldn't play. I have wrestled with the idea of talking to her about her son's behavior, but I am so afraid she won't take it well. This is based on prior instances in my life where I've been brave, told the whole truth about something, and just been demolished by the other person.
That's why when my one co-worker asks my other co-worker what she thinks of her new shoes, the second one says "oh... verrrrry nice!!!" And then texts me ten seconds later, "can you believe anyone would wear those?"
There are so many situations in which to tell the truth would just destroy another person's sense of pride, or accomplishment, or just hurt their feelings. And there are people, like my mother, who you know would go on for hours and days about topic "x", so you lie like a rug just to avoid telling her that one detail that will launch her into topic "x".
I think men and women both recognize this and are self-protective and protective of others. That's why we live our lives from one white lie to the next. Some of us, at least -- I know there is more than one Knowflake who has already said that lying of any sort is anathema to them. Hats off to you, guys.
quote:Originally posted by crabbypatty: I believe that women and men are neck and neck in lying, and maybe some women even surpass men in lies, white or otherwise. I think that perhaps men take certain truths better, whereas many women would get bent out of shape over the same truths. Other women know this, so they create lies to avoid bad situations.Case in point: there is a child in school with whom my son used to have frequent playdates when they were both six and seven years old. Suddenly, last year, the mother started giving me all kinds of excuses when I called asking for a playdate; her son was sick, he had to go help his father move offices, he had a birthday party, he was sick again... every excuse in the book. It was only later that I put two and two together... my child came home from school one day and reported that his (former) friend was taunting him at lunchtime for not eating kosher food like most of the boys at the table. Then I understood that the mother had probably heard about the lunchtime fare and decided this was not the kind of child her boy should associate with. Fair enough. But she didn't want to just be honest with me and tell me she objected to the g-dless way we are raising our son... she just told white lies. And I have done the same: we had another boy over to our home twice for a playdate and I observed him to be quite strange in his overall demeanor. And I mean strange, like you don't want to be associated with him in public. At one point, he also almost physically injured my son doing something really dumb. So, anyway, I didn't have the guts to tell his mother (who happens to be a lovely lady) that my child commented, after two playdates, "I never want to play with Adam again". She continued to call asking for the boys to get together, and I, in chicken-sh*t fashion, made up every excuse in the book why my son couldn't play. I have wrestled with the idea of talking to her about her son's behavior, but I am so afraid she won't take it well. This is based on prior instances in my life where I've been brave, told the whole truth about something, and just been demolished by the other person.That's why when my one co-worker asks my other co-worker what she thinks of her new shoes, the second one says "oh... verrrrry nice!!!" And then texts me ten seconds later, "can you believe anyone would wear those?" There are so many situations in which to tell the truth would just destroy another person's sense of pride, or accomplishment, or just hurt their feelings. And there are people, like my mother, who you know would go on for hours and days about topic "x", so you lie like a rug just to avoid telling her that one detail that will launch her into topic "x". I think men and women both recognize this and are self-protective and protective of others. That's why we live our lives from one white lie to the next. Some of us, at least -- I know there is more than one Knowflake who has already said that lying of any sort is anathema to them. Hats off to you, guys.
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